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Magical Items
Talismans, Amulets, Crystal Balls

Dreams of magical items that generate, summon or focus magical or sacred power are found in every dream-tradition I know. Many are ancient--a horn, crystal ball, magic egg, harp, mask, ring, scroll, staff, sword or stone. But just as many are modern or even futuristic: photos, channel changers, true magic markers, Pogs, buckets, chips, inertial dampers, cyberflowers, saturation dials, lunchbags, windbags...

I haven't been too consistent about living things--I've included familiars that seem to be parts of oneself like Lee Kennedy's soul or my own Symbiotes, but omitted those that felt more independent, more like dream friends, lovers, guides, or mentors.

RELATED TOPICS: Magic & mages - Tarot - symbols & icons - crystals - rings - spells - oracles - portals - friends & allies - guides & animas - teachers & mentors - see also the full INDEX OF SUBJECTS.

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AN ALICORN BLADE IN THE HEART: by Wayan; 2010/12/18; a dream of a lucid flash
A witch & I duel with blades of spiral horn. But we both just want
to create an utterly truthful oracle. Can't we find a way not to fight?
ANSWERING JUNG: by Wayan; 2005/7/5, a dream parodying one of Jung's key dreams
After reading Jung's dreams, I have an anti-Jungian dream of sexy nightmare-statues
waiting to come alive, like the tree I draw & bring to life with my literally magic marker...
CAUTION: NUDE STATUES
THE ANT REPRESENTATIVE: by Wayan; 1996/3/18, a romantic dream of bugs.
I fall in love with a diplomat from a hive mind. Am I luring her into dangerous individuality?
AZOREAN PAN: by Wayan; 1988/6/3 & 6/6, two subtly predictive dreamlets on a Greek god
1: On a mid-Atlantic islet, a farm family plays music to summon the Greek god Pan. It works!
2: A mystical picturebook shows Pan & his mermaid lover. Again I'm told music summons Pan!
CAUTION: GOAT-GOD NUDITY
BAKE HER PHOTO: by Wayan; 1993/10/24, a short, psychic dream.
I dream I've carried a photo with me 17 years, but now... I BAKE it. The next day, I meet...
THE BARRINGTON BUNNY: by Wayan; 1988/8/30, a world-saving alien-abduction dream
Alien robots kidnap me... and make me the mascot for a college football team.
But my Channel Changer slowly infuses us all with nerdy trust...
THE BATTLE FOR THE RAI DRAGON: by Rikutsu; 2015/12/6, a dream declaring change is ready at last
In a corrupt world, a talisman called the Rai Dragon offers hope of real change--
IF it can be found, AND used by someone decent-hearted...
A BEAM OF FLIGHT: by Wayan; 1992/4/19, a dream of love and shellshock.
I'm a dance teacher, I'm King Kong, I'm a shell-shocked elf, I'm a wild bird flying...
CAUTION: GAY-POSITIVE ROLE MODELS, OH NO!
THE BLACK EGG: by Wayan; 1999/3/25, a comic psychic dream.
My crazy friend Wayne goes bowling for busses with a black egg. Wait! Crazy? Or... predictive?
CAUTION: GEORGIA O'KEEFFE BEHAVES DISGRACEFULLY
BLUE CRYSTALS: by Wayan; 1979/5/20 dream offering guidance.
Throw a dream-crystal, or dangle it by a thread, and it'll point the way to go...
CAUTION: NUDITY
BOIL THE CORD, or, A Dinner Date with the Faerie Queene: by Wayan; 2000/4/27, an anorexic dream
I seek a stolen magic necklace, but end up dating the thief, an elf-queen with STRANGE taste in cookery...
CAUTION: BAD SOUP
BRANDY'S CURSE: by Wayan; 1996/10/23, a bizarre dream (even for me).
After I saw the film "Surviving Picasso" (he's brilliant but treats women like dirt)
I dream a sexy friend asks me to remove a strange curse. But can I?...
CASSANDRA AND OTTER: by Wayan; 1982/3/14, a reassuring nightmare.
I take Cassandra's prophecies seriously, but she can't make sense of my future.
So we go see an otter with a crystal ball. But he's installed a new security system...
CENTAUR WITH STAFF OF POWER: by Wayan; ink 1982/6/3, tinted 2001; sketch of a daydream
An image influenced by a recent dream, "Centaur Quartet...
CHANGE THE CORE PROGRAM: by Wayan; 1995/6/28, a dream of sudden progress.
I meet a tragic heroine--great heart, rotten luck. But I open her magic sword and find a bad chip...
CHAPLIN: by Wayan; 1974/5/22, a dream on loneliness.
I'm Charlie Chaplin doing magic tricks with the Ring of Power. And I don't even WANT power, just love...
CLIMB DOWN THE PINNACLES: by Jenny Badger Sultan, l995/12/24, a surreal dream and painting
Decision by decision, we made our way down immense rock crags. Below, I had to put out a deadly fire,
a fire as solid as wood or stone, with a white staff. What am I really trying to calm?
CYCLOTRON OF FLOWERS: by Wayan; 2015/9/13, a surreal dreamscene done as an imagist poem
Night. Rider and mount gallop in a ring, leaving a luminous spiral wake of glowing
flowers. Power builds, but when the spiral gate opens, where will it lead?
THE DIADEM RATIO: by Wayan; 1994/8/14, an absurdist dream.
I stumble into the middle of a dream conversation--on ghosts, tiaras and pigs--
and struggle to figure out what what on earth we were already talking about...
DRAGON-JEWEL: by Wayan; 2013/6/27, a 1001 Nights epic dream disturbingly predictive of ISIS
In Old Palmyra, I stumble on a dragon-hoard. Wizards and caliphs hunt me--how to get out
of town? Magic carpet? No. I put on a brown coat, borrow a delivery bike, and slowly pedal...
DRAGON/WOMAN: by Pam Cardiff, 1994/6/20, a dream of a dad's curse
A mage turns his daughter into an ugly dragon. She pines for a sailor, but
though they make beautiful music with magic crystals, he rejects her...
DREAMSTONES: by Patricia Garfield; 1978/8/4, a dream of summoning a goddess
In the cave, I chanted "Come Kama, Come Love..." and a procession of strange creatures came down the stone steps;
squirrels, peacocks, a blue birdlike being with golden headdress, and then the Goddess of Love. Her form shocked me...
ENKIDU: by Gilgamesh of Uruk, c. 2750 BCE, an early prophetic dream
The hero Gilgamesh troubles his city till he dreams the gods will send him a best friend & lover, Enkidu...
CAUTION: SEX
THE EX-GODDESS: by Wayan, 2010/11/9, a dream-poem on a god in hiding--in plain sight!
I meet a forgotten goddess--outlived all her cults. Today she passes as a psychic, reads a crystalball...
CAUTION: NUDE CHALK SKETCH
FAIRY WIFE: by Wayan; 1985/1/17, an epic dream of love and choice.
A fairy woman and a mortal man? Can't work! They're flighty, we're crude. Doomed, right?
Well, some people are so sure of it they decide to help things along a bit. Or a lot...
FEATHERHOLDERS: by Wayan; 2020/5/18, a dream of a strange career
My friend Xanthe steals a sorceror's magic feathers and creates a police force
to curb the misuse of magic. But I'm no featherholder; I'm the dispatcher...
FLYING UNICORNS' GIFTS: by Lily Michaud; 2007/9/5, an advice-dream inside a flying dream
Flying unicorns hang out with me and my friends, sending us
dreams full of useful advice--and more concrete gifts...
FREE THE HICK? A Dream Left Hanging: by Wayan; 1999/9/15, a shard still bearing a message
With our ignorability spell, our team plans to free the angry Hick from the
Submerged Court. But the Coyote Girls can see us! Will this really work?
GIRL INTO HERON: by Wayan, 2017/11/7, a dream-poem of an uncertain choice
Four thugs stalk a gawky girl through the Everglades. She treads on a black stone and...
becomes a blue heron! Her stalkers vanish--did they become birds too? Should I step up?
GOLD EGG: by James Russell Lowell: 1850s? a dream-poem
I dreamt a couple toss out a shabby old hen. But it lays golden eggs! She becomes an eagle and carries me off to...
GREEN DRAGON BANE: by Tom LogosEinTheos, 2019/5/13, a dream of an odd gift
I'm in a cavern. A large green & brown dragon goes over to a machine
and gives me a green egg. A gift. It comes to me this is "dragon bane"...
HARRY AND THE HORCRUX: by J.K. Rowling; mid-December 2006, a dream of creative ferment
People have asked me if I ever dream that I am 'in' Harry's world. The answer was 'no' until a few nights ago...
HEALING THE RING: by Wayan; 1984/8/22, a nightmare on... anger?
I bear a Ring of Power meant to corrupt me. I cleansed it, at a cost, but can't wield it till I've read its spell...
THE HEIDEGGARIAN BARBARIAN: by Jo, 2007/02/02, a dream of hopping between two characters
I was two-thirds of a love triangle, but I always lost out. Flying was some consolation...
CAUTION: RAT DEATH, EVIL WHALES AND ADULTERY
A HOBBIT IN L.A.: by Wayan; 1990/1/8, a dream on wishes.
I'm a hobbit woman in Los Angeles, hiding a magic weapon
from Sauron. No, not THAT weapon. The wishing-bucket...
THE HOLY HARP: by Wayan; 1994/3/22, a dream of musical guilt.
The Goddess's harp, that calls in the seasons, just passed on. But the new harper has a shocking admission...
HOOD: by Wayan; 1993/5/11 & 5/15, a recurring dream of a... woman? dinosaur? cape? spirit?
An alien-heron-dino-woman left us her cape--or is it a cast-off skin? I put it on, for I was told I need
the hood to ward off some evil. My human head won't fit the narrow hood. But the owner's manual
says I don't need a shield, I'm immune! So skip the hood; wear the cape as a minidress...
ID FLOWERS: by Wayan; 1989/10/8, a dream of wish and fear
The villagers warned me not to walk in the alien graveyard; for at night, the Id flowers wake...
INERTIAL DAMPER: by Wayan; 2017/8/26; a dream warning for another.
I'm trapped in a mad scientist's car that squeezes through wall-cracks. But when
she aims at a wall with NO cracks, I have to pull out the smuggled alien device
in my pocket. Just before impact I switch on the Inertial Damper...
LACED WITH TERROR: by Wayan; 1999/5/3, an anti-nightmare.
Researchers show me weird little objects like shoelaces that drive people mad with fear...
LIFE FORCE: by Patagia; 2006/8/9 & 8/31, three career-advice dreamlets
Out of a Campbell's soup can poured life force: someone's last breath...
LILY OXYGEN: by Wayan; dreamed 1984/1/19, drawn 2000; a strong psychic dream.
I'm Emily Dickinson reborn in 2100 as a breeder of hydroponic lilies, till my dad drafts me as
an Arctic energy-prospector, where I meet a ghost, a fiery Beast, a new me, and the girl of my dreams...
CAUTION: QUEER-POSITIVE, NUDE PROSPECTORS, GNOMIC DICKINSON QUOTES
THE MAGIC WORDS: by Wayan; 1974/5/29, an early dream on word-magic.
Humanity in the future desperately needs the magic words from the past to free them. But... "pickle?"
MAGICAL GRADUATION: by Wayan, 2018/4/22, twin dreamlets on letting go and being yourself
I befriend author Andre Norton--an ageless high-school kid writing enthused fan fiction, forever...
I find my Niche--the stone nook that decides if I'm a journeyman mage! Here comes my prophecy...
MANTA MOTHS: by Wayan; 1990/10/3, a transcendental nightmare echoing a dream 8 years before, (1982/1/22)
Manta Moths pick us off us explorers... or do they? An old scroll spoke of fear leading to transformation...
MARTIAN AIRLOCK and JAGUAR MASK: by Wayan, 2015/6/22, twin shamanic near-nightmares
Jaguar Mask: a were-jaguar stuck in human form asks me to sew a new jaguar face on."But won't it hurt?...
Martian Airlock: I'm suitless on Mars. Freezing, choking, I dive into an airlock & slam the switch--but it's sabotaged...
THE MARTIAN FEUD: by Wayan; 1994/3/10, a warning dream.
On Old Mars, before it died, two rival families' teasing finally goes too far, despite the whale's warning...
CAUTION: VIOLENCE
THE MONKEY'S HEAD: by William S. Burroughs, c. 1990? A dream of wishes gone wild.
I find a magical monkey's head. It grants wishes--too many, everyone's, they cancel, they clash, it's a wish-flood...
CAUTION: ASSUMES WISHES WORK
THE MOUSE BANNER: by Wayan; 1986/9/4, a dream fable.
I'm a mouse with a protest banner saying "FREEDOM!", having a slight argument with a cat...
MY SOUL: by Lee Kennedy; 1994, a spiritual dream.
Aliens take me to meet my soul. It's on a pedestal in a quasi-Roman villa. I'm ashamed to
see my soul's just a tribble. But it sings soulfully, and when happy, it purrs...
MY SYMBIOTES: by Wayan; 2015/2/8, a dream characterizing our sixth sense, & proposing a seventh
I have symbiotes--a dragonlynx and some flannan, like micro-angels with birdfeet & moth antennae.
Lynx & flannan embody my sixth and seventh senses...
NO "I": by Wayan; 2003/10/22, a dream of identity loss.
I'm in San Francisco trying to throw Sauron's Ring into the Cracks of San Andreas.
But a sexy sorcerer steals my sense of I! How can you act without a self?
OJIBWAY DREAM NET: by Regina de Cormier-Shekerjian, c.1984, a dream-poem of a visiting animus
I hung the dream-net over my bed. It worked. A blue-winged man with a leg of silver came to me,
drummed, danced, offered to teach me secrets. Awake, I found a blue feather caught in that net...
ORB: by Walter de la Mare; before 1939; a feverdream image
I held the strangest and most entrancing object I have ever seen: the very citadel of life itself!...
OTTER MEDICINE: by The-Fringe, a Crow healer, early 1850s; a shamanic dream with physical effects
I slept on an island in a scalding hot spring, praying for a dream. I got one--and woke up on the shore...
PASS THE VIAL ON: by Wayan; 2000/4/18, a dream of renunciation
A vagabond king showed me the way into Faerie, and it made my fortune. But now it's time to pass the gift on...
RABBIT WORLD: by Wayan; 6-page comic of a 1990/9/26 shamanic dream.
I'm a telepathic rabbit defending our world from space-laser attack. We do, but do we modernize too much?
CAUTION: IDEAS
REGEANA'S DRAGON: by Regeana; 1996/3/9, a dream of generosity
The jewels in the hoard had strange powers, but the advice of the dragon guarding them was even stranger...
RING-DUEL: by Wayan; dreamed 1988/12/21; a transformation dream on reclaiming your power
A mad scientist sneaks me into a museum that holds the Ring of Power I made at 14. I put it on, and
slip into the spirit world--as a dragon! An ice-drake sent by Sauron comes to duel me for my Ring...
THE RING'S ELBOW ROOM: by Wayan; 1997/8/17, a Tolkien dreamlet.
Widely held notions manifest easier. I could forge Sauron's Ring, and it'd really work! But do I want to?...
THE SATURATION DIAL: by Wayan; 2015/11/7, a surreal lucid dream with a control knob!
Night. Two moons. I go lucid! Find a knob adjusting the dream's color saturation.
Dial it up--and meet ghosts of pure color, invisible til I luridified...
SCROLLS: by Chris Wayan 1989/2/17, & Mark Varitz 1989/2/18; parallel dreamlets
CHRIS: I find what may be a magic potion, if it has a scroll hidden in the liquid...
MARK: I'm underwater. Spirits dance around me, on top of sunken scrolls...
SHELL AND STONE: by William Wordsworth; late 1840s, a dream of a new Great Flood
An Arab shows me a stone he calls a book, and a prophetic shell that warns of a flood rushing toward us...
SORTING HAT, DRUNKEN CAT: by Wayan; 2013/10/18, a steadily mutating warning-dream
I discover a Sorting Hat, as in Harry Potter--and it moves in with us. Our cat crawls in and plays peekaboo.
She becomes a teenager eager to get drunk at Thanksgiving--like every adult in her life. But she's not
puking drunk like them, so she must be OK! Just as I think I am--I only overwork to exhaustion.
CAUTION: DRUNK TEEN CAT, SEVERELY ALCOHOLIC ADULTS
SOUL-BOARD: by Wayan; 1989/1/12, a dream poem.
Africa. My horse trusted me as we faced lions and fire, but to face the Soul-Board, he must trust himself...
SOUL RESTORED: by Wayan; 2016/12/4, two dreams on deep change
MY SOUL RESTORED: To hide me as I grew up, someone transplanted a shard of redwood-soul
into me, and part of my soul into the tree! But now I'm grown...
RED ROBE OF INITIATION: I came to play music, but I'm dragged to the magic-school portal & draped in...
CAUTION: MYSTICISM
THE SPELL BLURS WOMEN: by Wayan; 2013/5/5, a poem from a Lorelei dream
In a creepy castle on the Rhine, whenever I'm near three women, they blur
into one. A powerful spell! Now where have I seen this effect...?
CAUTION: DISSES PATRIARCHAL RELIGIONS
SPHINX'S WOOD: by Wayan; 1981/11/19, a dream of puns, riddles and advice
After my dad lets me down I dream black may be white, and white, black--if you're a Sphinx...
SPIN-WITCH, or, THE MAGIC LIGHTER: by Wayan; 1985/8/10, a dream on defensiveness.
Leona's a fighter--she rejects compromisers like her husband,
her friends, that miniature catgirl she's been sitting on...
SPIRIT CHORUS: by Wayan; dreamed 2016/2/8, a curative dream
I drum on an ocarina-gong in the dark. My weird music summons a choir of
fierce angels, who send a wave of tingling energy surging through me...
SPOON CHALLENGE: by Emily Joy; 2006/8/30, a mathemagical dreamlet.
I want to drink the elixir, but negative 20 spoons block me! Can I remove them? With warped teacup logic & reciprocals…
SUSHI CIRCUS: by Wayan; 1982/2/17, an illustrated psychic dream.
To avoid being stabbed, I flee the Psychodrama Circus. Wisely--the place explodes!
But it's the filling of the sushi roll that really upsets me...
CAUTION: CANNIBAL MAKI
TALISMAN: by Wayan; 2016/3/3, a dream hinting I need some long-term dreamwork!
I'm a boy from a Southwestern tribe whose rite of passage is a bike race.
I wear a jasper pendant with mysterious powers...
TEMEMTIM: by Wayan; 1995/3/3 and 3/16; two linked archeology dreams.
My cold-sensitive dinosaur friend makes a find at our archeological dig by thinking like the Old Ones...
TERRIBLE HORSE: by Louise Bogan; 1941, poem of a healing dream
A stallion reared to strike me. He was all the fear and rage I'd repressed for 35 years. I cowered til a woman said "offer him...
THIEF OF DREAMS: by Wayan; 1996/11/29, a sexy soul-swap dream; a 22-page comic (or text w/pics)
I was a mermaid trying to find Count Coyote's stolen dreams, so I could marry my human girlfriend...
CAUTION: NUDITY, SEX, LESBIAN MARRIAGE, ANTI-FUNDAMENTALISM
TIME-BUBBLE: by Wayan; 2008/9/1, a dream-poem, Dreamverse #19
In a city crawling across a marshy world, I find a detonating bomb frozen in a time-ball.
Why not detonate it somewhere harmless, why carry this around?
TIME-CAT: by Wayan; 2013/11/23; a self-flagging predictive dream
I'm a cat person, grooming. But not MY fur--it's a woolly mass of timelines!
We cats travel time, smoothing out snarls... Then I wake, go to a party, and...
TIME WARRIOR: by Katie Hofgard, c. 2004, a daydream on transformation
She was a girl playing in the woods when she found the dying silver fox.
His body transformed into a fox-mask. His spirit said "When you come of age..."
THE TOOTH: by SAO (Shawn Allen O'Neal), 2003?, an epic, oracular, baffling dream
Psychics give me an incomprehensible reading. A book from the tree-library gives only Victorian dating advice.
At last a madman gives me a treasure-box holding a tooth that unfolds into slices carved in unreadable symbols...
TRAIL OF POGS: by Wayan; 2004/9/6, my dreams' response to the first Burning Man dream-workshop
A trail toward Freedom has extra markers, for it's three trails, superimposed! Not all the cues are for us...
TRISKELION; 2011/6/21 by Wayan; a repeated false-waking dream of dating advice
I wake up in a weird sexual situation. But I'm still dreaming--I wake again
to find I'm in an even weirder sexual situation. But I'm still...
CAUTION: NUDITY, SEX, (ANTI?)ROMANTICISM
TRUST YOUR CANOE: by Wayan; 2012/8/16, two diagnostic dreamlets
I ride a magical self-guiding canoe, seeking the right beach and cove for me.
Even when the boat climbs hills so I can explore inland, I expect it to fail...
TWILIGHT'S OVAL GAME: by Wayan; 2017/10/4, three dreams arguing "Friendship is Magic"--literal magic.
1: I failed to save a magic tree. It fell and killed someone. I'm racked with guilt...
2: A giant pinball game on a tilted oval relief-map. But you can only win as a team of six friends...
3: A Caribbean girl with a weird aura tries to align two magic crystals to heal herself...
CAUTION: BREASTS, MY LITTLE PONY AS ROLEMODEL
THE UNICORN MASK OF IGNORABILITY: by Wayan; 2009/10/13, a predictive dream; Dreamverse #59
My family home's invaded by ancient Egyptian architects. So
I put on my unicorn mask and eavesdrop on their plans...
URBAN ARTHUR: by Anonymous #47, early 1994?, an alarming dreamlet
You're in a subway station. You put coins in a coffee machine.
Down drops the Holy Grail. And begins to fill with blood...
VAGUE HOUSE: by Rick Veitch; c.1995; a dream labeling its own symbols!
I grope through fog to the Vague House. Fog inside, too. Find a stone carved with an Eye of
Horus, and know it's my anger. Find a bigger stone scarab, and know it's my REAL anger...
THE VOICE OF GOD: by Wayan, 1993/1/31, a psychic nightmare-epic.
Half-mad with fear, I massacre a cult, till my gun manifests stigmata: a gory miracle.
Then I'm a cultist, resisting the Voice of God pushing all us mortals to murder in His name.
I woke up haunted, and wondered for weeks what this was about... until the Waco Massacre.
CAUTION: CREEPY VIOLENCE, CREEPY GOD, CREEPY PREDICTION
THE WELL OF WOMEN'S WISDOM: by Wayan; 1991/3/25, a dream on gradualism.
I find the Well of Women's Wisdom. Lucky I'm female tonight! A girl sneers "Narrow!" Is it, or her?
WEREDOGS AREN'T RACIST: by Wayan; 1974/3/31, a surreal sarcastic dream
I'm a girljock waiting to see a movie when a weredog in line involuntarily shifts
from dog to human, and a Berkeley radical takes offense at the symbolism...
CAUTION: SNIPPY ABOUT POLITICAL CORRECTNESS
WERTZ!: by Wayan; 2023/10/14, a night of cartoonist-inspired dreams
After seeing Julia Wertz's cartoon history of her entire dreamlife (on one big page!) I dream
Wertz style all night! I don't mind the nightmares--what gets me down is comics' black & white...
CAUTION: NIGHTMARES, SEX
WHO'LL BE MY LOVE?: by Wayan; 1986/4/14, a dream noir farce; part 4 of UNICORN TAG.
I'm a hardboiled detective wincing as I grill a meek little psychic
(probably me) about squish-softboiled topics like unicorns and love...
CAUTION: SMUTTY UNICORN MAKES EVEN COPS BLUSH
WHO SHATTERS?: by Wayan; 1995/6/18, a cryptic culinary dream.
Dry noodles shatter when bent. Wait, not noodles--they have auras! Feel like me--parts of me? Oh!
These aren't noodles or strands of my being. I'm not this brittle. They're relatives!
WILD MAGIC: by Wayan, 2018/1/8, a dream on finding a place
A teacher drafts me into her magic class to shake up her sheltered wizard-wannabes.
My magic's wild, ignoring spells and rules. I don't think I realized how wild...
CAUTION: NUDITY
WINDBAG!: by Wayan; 1982/7/24, ink, dream drawing
I didn't even think of "windbag" since it didn't talk a bit.
That bag was all action--full of flying magic...
WINDOW IN THE SKY: by Emily Joy; 2006/10/15, an epic, flying, apocalyptic dream
When my friends and I learn to fly, all of Middle Earth turns against us!
Fleeing from Saruman's army, I discover the backstage truth about our world...
CAUTION: VIOLENCE, DOOM, PHYSICS! YODA IN THE TUB!
WONDERFUL SPECTACLES: by Anna Kingsford; 1877/1/31, a clairvoyant advisory dream
A mystic postman delivers a letter on the world's best glasses and a reply from me, telling how to find them...
YOU CHIPHEAD! : by Wayan, 1997/1/31, a sarcastic dream.
Chips are faster than brains these days, so everyone's upgrading--everyone but me...


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